I teased a review blitz a long time ago: when DagonDogs.com finally was back up again after the "office" moved the first time. It was on the agenda multiple times and kept getting postponed, for one reason or another. I was talking about James Bond as a franchise worth watching and reviewing, film by film. Essentially, I wanted to do what I did with Friday the 13th.

What did I do? The Friday the 13th review blitz was a decade ago at this point, but at the end of it, I provided a list from top to bottom of the best and the worst of the franchise. Before I got started, however, I provided my personal drinking game rules for the franchise based on its patterns and clichés.

Since James Bond is such a popular character and a well-established franchise with its own iconic tropes, it only makes sense to assign drinking rules to those tropes. I watched almost the entire series from beginning to end a few years back when I got the Bond 50th anniversary collection of Blu-rays. I wanted to review and list them from best to worst, but I didn't have a blog up for that. Having spent enough time away, I’m finally able to approach them all again with a fresh perspective.

Of course, you may want to limit which rules you want to use for your viewing experience, especially if you're already planning on using our Universal Rules in conjunction with these. For instance, think of how often the title of the movie is mentioned in some of these. We don’t endorse binge drinking and recommend against it. These rules are meant to elicit a laugh and give a bit of fun to the viewing experience. Remember to drink responsibly and to use water or some other non-alcoholic beverage if you'd like to play along without imbibing alcohol.

The last thing I’ll mention is that at the end of each movie review on this long franchise adventure, I will be adding a bonus drinking rule specific to that film. Without further ado, here are the general rules of the James Bond drinking game. I’ll also be interspersing the review cycle with other articles so the website is not just James Bond for the next 25 weeks.

Hair of the Dog - James Bond Drinking Game

Name. Full Name.

Everyone knows that when you're a secret agent/spy, you should always introduce yourself to your marks and give them your full name to make sure they know who's going to kill them. James Bond always wants to be a gentleman so it only makes sense to tell everyone he meets who he is, regardless of their reputation. Of course, it would be safe to assume that "James Bond" is just an alias for his real name, but no one is telling.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever James introduces himself in the Bond fashion: "Bond. James Bond." Or just take a sip whenever someone says the first and last name of a character, which is surprisingly frequent.

Shaken, Not Stirred

Another popular phrase out of the franchise with the same verbal rhythm as his introduction, James Bond likes you to know how he prefers his martini, in every situation. There's no reason for you to ever get this drink preparation wrong because you already know how he likes his martinis. Don't you?

As you’ll surely notice in the rest of this article, there are a lot of scenes of people drinking, so that can be tacked on to this rule as well.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever James makes sure to tell someone how he likes his martinis: "Shaken, not stirred."

• Take a sip of your drink whenever James or someone else of significance takes a sip of their drink.

A Legacy of Bondage

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger graced movie screens with classic one-liners like "I'll be back" and pun-infused kill-phrases like "Let off some steam, Bennett," from Commando or "Stick around," from Predator, James Bond was dropping puns left and right. Hell, some of the puns in his movies aren't even his, because the characters have a ridiculously punny name instead, like Pussy Galore. It's a trope of the franchise that started with Connery, got way more prevalent with Moore and Brosnan, and has slowly died away with Craig. Nonetheless, puns still happen in Bond films to this day, so you better have your drink handy.

• Take a sip whenever a character utters a pun. This includes a one-liner after killing someone, or just something dumb, like a catchphrase.

Go-Go Gadget!

James Bond is a super secret agent spy with resources that come with being the first and last line of defense for Queen and Country. This means that he has access to a plethora of resources and technology that not even the military would have the chance to see. From exploding pens, to cars with ejector seats, to super-sonic rings, James Bond gets to play with a lot of toys in the testing facility and in the field. As with the puns, the gadgets have gotten less prevalent in recent movies, but you can stretch the rules to suit your needs however you like.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever a special gadget is used. If you really want to be brave, you can apply this rule to characters other than Bond and be drunk before he leaves Q's testing facility.

Christmas Comes More Than Once a Year

James Bond is (allegedly) a player. While the puns and the gadgets may have become less of a guarantee in Bond films, one thing is for sure: James Bond will get laid by the end of the movie. Sometimes, it happens more than once in a film, so you better have your drink handy when James starts putting the moves on.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever the strong feelings of mutual attraction are consummated without protection; in other words, James and one of the Bond girls have sex.

Loved and Lost

Somewhat tied to the previous rule, you can almost always expect the unfortunate demise of the "first love" in a Bond film. Most Bond movies have more than one Bond girl. They can be good, bad, or in-between. However, if you are the first one on the list to have a good night in bed with James Bond, you've basically signed your death certificate. In some instances, it doesn't matter if you're the first or the last, James Bond just vicariously kills you for associating with his private weapon.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever a Bond girl dies.

• It's also quite common for a friend of Bond to die on a mission with him. If you, somehow, are not getting enough sips in, take a sip whenever a friend or partner dies.

"No" Means "No"

Also somewhat tied to the previous rules in some way, James Bond is not necessarily best known for his respect for women. This is more common in the early films, obviously, but you can still get the sense that his character is a little less egalitarian towards women in some circumstances, even in the latest movies. From claiming that sleeping with a woman is something he's done as his duty as a servant to the Crown, to slapping a woman around, to eyeing a girl like a piece of meat, to just forcing himself upon Pussy Galore, this is a rule that I just recommend following to your own discretion.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever you get uncomfortable with James' behavior towards a person of the opposite sex.

Thematic Tunes

Everyone who's anyone knows how the James Bond theme goes because of just how prevalent it is in every movie. So this rule should be a no-brainer. However, there are some songs to Bond movies that are just as notable, so why not reward the specific movie's theme as well?

• Take a sip of your drink whenever the iconic James Bond theme starts playing, or whenever the theme of the movie starts playing, i.e. "Live & Let Die," "Skyfall," etc.

Breaking The Law

Action movies are notorious for their death-defying stunts and the liberties they take with the laws of physics, and James Bond is a bonified action-movie star. There is no shortage of moments in these films in which Bond defies the laws of Sir Isaac Newton and manages to survive an impossible scenario that would have killed anyone if they weren't fictional.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever something happens that defies the laws of physics or just when Bond manages to survive something that would have killed a real person.

Check-in Time

Bond travels the world to a lot of exotic locations when he's on a mission of espionage and assassination. However, he's not about to stay at a Motel 6 if he can help it. James Bond prefers to travel in style, so don't be surprised if he manages to check into a fancy hotel at some point during the movie.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever James Bond checks into a hotel.

The Deadliest Game

It’s quite common for the villains of James Bond films to be interested in games. It could be something like golf or a game of cards. It could be some bizarre video game like in Never Say Never Again. Regardless of the game, the sequence is most often used to let Bond and the villain size each other up or make pun-filled threats. Bond doesn’t always win, but he’s usually quite adept at the craft, even if it’s the first time he’s played. Since the entire plot of Casino Royale is focused on a game between Bond and Villain, it’s best to keep to rule restricted to when Bond wins a game.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever James Bond wins a game against the villain.

Art of the Kill

James Bond is an assassin, first and foremost, but he doesn't always get the job done with the same old weapon of choice. He is often disarmed or loses his pistol and is forced to think on his feet. Sometimes, he just manages to use something nearby to get the job done in a dramatic and ironic fashion.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever James Bond kills someone using an unorthodox method, such as a gadget (combined with the gadget rule) or an environmental hazard. Don’t be surprised if a pun follows this event…

Run to the Hills

There is always someone that James desperately needs to talk to, in order to get information. There are also people whom he must desperately avoid. What I'm saying is, there's going to be a chase sequence in a Bond movie, so you better be ready to take a sip.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever a chase sequence starts.

007

As iconic and frequently disclosed as his name is his agent number. Friends, co-workers, and enemies all seem to know it and they all occasionally call him by it.

• Take a sip of your drink whenever someone utters the phrase: "double-O seven."

Bonus Rules

At the end of each movie review, I'll be adding a rule or two specific to that film, so if you're going to play along at home, don't forget to check out the footnotes of each movie review!

Make sure to read our Universal Drinking Rules about our Hair of the Dog feature as well.