Of the few things in this world for which I still hold some nostalgic appreciation, Godzilla is perhaps the one that comes from the earliest part of my life. I don’t think I had even started elementary school by the time I first discovered Godzilla, but I still remember going to the rental store throughout the years and picking up as many of the movies as I could find for a weekend of monster brawls in Japan. At the time, all I could find were the movies that had been released up to 1985 in the United States, unaware that Godzilla movies were still being made in Japan and not being released here. As I got older, I grew out of Godzilla, but I still had an appreciation for the goofy fun that those movies brought and always wanted those movies to continue to come out and improve if possible. I’ve slowly begun to see all of the ones I’ve missed over the years, as well as the new ones.

A vast majority of the Godzilla movies are slow, dull experiences consisting of: people talking about science stuff in meeting rooms, aliens and spies shooting at each other, and then, finally, some dudes in monster suits wrestle for the last 20 minutes. As you might imagine, I wasn’t really happy with the 1998 attempt by American movie studios to make a Godzilla movie. It was nice to have a new attempt and a new take on the big lizard, but it was bad. Keep in mind that, as a person who appreciates Godzilla movies, when I say “bad”, that doesn’t mean unenjoyable. The 1998 movie is occasionally entertaining, but it’s mostly dull and it didn’t really work out as a new representation of the indestructible, 400-foot-tall monster. The remake factory didn’t stop there, though, as Godzilla was again re-envisioned in 2014 for American audiences. This was a better, more traditional Godzilla movie, in both the good and bad way. Toho Studios made their own new one in 2016 with Shin-Godzilla, which was admittedly a better, more serious movie that I happened to like less because I didn’t have much fun watching it. I complained plenty in my review about how Shin was a good movie by managing to make the whole experience feel like a real disaster, similar to the original Godzilla movie in the 1950s, but that wasn’t necessarily what I wanted as a fan of Godzilla.

Now, after that lengthy intro explaining my biases for the purpose of this review, we at last get to Godzilla: King of the Monsters, the sequel to the 2014 remake. While I have an appreciation for movies like Shin-Godzilla making the giant lizard scary again and a true walking disaster like he’s supposed to be, Godzilla: King of the Monsters is more of what I’m looking for.

Pros

Feels like a traditional Godzilla movie
Monsters are on the screen a lot more than last time; not obscured by objects in the foreground
New looks for Gidora, Mothra, and Rodan are all faithful and fun
Charles Dance chewing up the few scenes he’s in
Monsters feel massive and their battles are fun to watch
Supersaturated with colors; a colorful spectacle
Easy to make up a drinking game

Cons

Feels like a traditional Godzilla movie
Dialogue is cheesy, bad, and feels like it’s all written for the trailers
Protagonist is a dull chump and poorly acted; all the side characters are more interesting
Human plot is mostly dumb or insufficiently compelling
Formulaic cash-grab; numerous, obvious call-outs for impending sequels

Plot & Thoughts

After the 2014 monster brawl involving Godzilla and two other kaiju creatures called Mutos, which resulted in the destruction of San Francisco, the autonomous organization known as Monarch has been scouring the world, looking for other kaiju that may exist on the planet. Sorry, did I say kaiju? I meant “Titans” as that’s what they’re called here. Whatever you want to call them, these behemoths are scattered across the globe and Monarch has managed to find more than a dozen of them in hibernation, setting up bases nearby to monitor their vital signs. Dr. Emma Russell (Vera Farmiga) is one of the lead scientists of Monarch and is on-site when the larva of Mothra wakes up. With her daughter, Madison (Millie Bobby Brown), alongside her, Emma uses the new device she created to manipulate sound waves in a way of communicating with/controlling Mothra. Just when it seems like she’s figured out how to do so safely, the lab is attacked by environmental terrorists led by Alan Jonah (Charles Dance), who kidnap Madison and Emma. Emma’s ex-husband, Dr. Mark Russell (Kyle Chandler), is busy taking pictures of wolves and recording their noises for reasons unknown when Monarch shows up to recruit him to find his ex-wife and daughter.

At this point, you might be asking, “Isn’t this a Godzilla movie? Where does Godzilla come into this?” Like other Godzilla films, Godzilla: King of the Monsters follows a similar formula of taking its time introducing you to the human characters, then slowly giving you a basic premise as to why giant monsters have to fight each other. In this case, the eco-terrorist group, with the help of Dr. Emma Russell, plans to restore balance to the world by releasing all the titans and letting them take over the world. First on the list is Godzilla’s arch-nemesis, Gidorah (or Monster Zero). This sets off a chain reaction of other monsters waking up. Thus, Godzilla needs to scream, breathe fire, and assert dominance.

That’s essentially all you need to know about the plot. There are a few plot twists and betrayals, but you don’t care about that, right? You shouldn’t, because this is as traditional of a Godzilla movie as it gets. The humans take up a fair amount of screen time, explaining everything as it happens, and they occasionally end up in some trouble themselves, while the kaiju are tearing each other apart. Admittedly, the moments involving the humans in danger are well-shot and somewhat exciting, which prevents this movie from ever being extremely boring. However, Godzilla: King of the Monsters is at its best when the monsters are on-screen. Each that appears in the film looks great and is shot in a way that makes every scene with them look like a massive mural. Gidorah is often surrounded by stormy weather, giving him a backdrop that makes him appear demonic in some light. Likewise, Mothra is often depicted with great lighting effects to make a giant moth look almost angelic. And Godzilla often appears with a cold blue around him, making him seem like a hero you can’t fully trust, plus he’s just as fat as he was in the previous movie, which is still a good look for him.

The movie is at its worst when we have to spend our time with the humans. More specifically, it’s when we have to spend time with the protagonist, Mark Russell, that the film is at its least interesting. I have not seen many movies with Kyle Chandler, but I would not recommend him for a starring role if his performance here is any indication of his ability. He’s not as stiff as Charlie Hunnam in Pacific Rim, but he’s also not compelling, which almost makes him less fun to watch. The character of Mark Russell doesn’t do him any favors either. Who is Dr. Mark Russell? Why, he’s an expert on animal behavior, of course!—we never find out what his PhD is in, but we also don’t for any of the other doctors either. Whatever his esteemed talents are, he suddenly shows up and shouts orders at everyone else who should probably know as much or more than he does about every situation they’re in. He just has the right answer for every situation. All the other smart people in the room probably already had the right answer too, but were too polite not to let him have the spotlight. These moments when he’s shouting orders to everyone smart or smarter than him are incredibly annoying. It’s like they wanted him to be Dr. Grant from Jurassic Park, but the difference there was that Grant actually knew more than everyone else, so this forced sense of authority for Dr. Mark Russell comes across as hollow and vain. Yet, the moments in which he’s trying to be intensely emotional about his family aren’t any better. They are dull and lack any real emotion or substance. I felt more intensity and love when Dr. Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) talked directly to Godzilla later in the movie than at any moments when Dr. Mark talked about his family or hatred for Godzilla.

Thankfully, the other characters in the cast make time spent with the humans a little more fun, or tolerable at the very least. Ken Watanabe still manages to have a commanding presence in a scene, even if it’s just him being a Godzilla fanboy. Bradley Whitford as Dr. Rick Stanton provides some entertaining wisecracks that are reminiscent of his character from Cabin in the Woods, even if it gets a little overdone by the end. Vera Farmiga and Millie Bobby Brown are fine in their section of the story and bring some emotion to their plot that Kyle Chandler cannot. However, my favorite character was Alan Jonah, or rather, “sassy Charles Dance.” Jonah is not really a character because there’s nothing of note about the character at all that is anything other than a guy leading a terrorist group who happens to be extremely sarcastic. Charles Dance is always good as the bad guy who is the smartest person in the room and that is certainly true here. He doesn’t have a whole lot to do in this movie, but as it approaches the end, the sass levels start to climb exponentially. If Charles Dance were to make this sort of character a regular role he gets in other movies or in sketch comedy shows, I wouldn’t be mad.

The last thing I’ll mention before wrapping this up is that the Hollywood formula is ever-present in this movie. Part of me loathes Godzilla: King of the Monsters for how much it feels like watching another superhero movie or a movie based on a popular toy brand. It’s as run-of-the-mill as it gets with a lot of cliches and cheap gags that aren’t funny and should have been left on the cutting-room floor. Not to mention, Skull Island and “Kong” are brought up numerous times to remind/tease you about the inevitable remake of King Kong vs Godzilla. It’s a cash grab and I feel dirty for being willing to accept it all in a movie that I mostly enjoyed, even if I wouldn’t consider it “good.”

TL;DR (Conclusion)

If you want a giant monster movie with class, style, and substance in a way that provokes thoughtful reverence and an appreciation for horror through the use of giant monsters, I recommend the original Godzilla (1954), King Kong (1933), and even Shin-Godizlla (2016). If you also enjoy dumb monster-mash movies where the kaiju are fighting each other, via digital effects or guys in rubber suits, Godzilla: King of the Monsters might suit your tastes, as it is very similar to some of the best Toho Godzilla movies, both old and new. It’s a dumb, fun time that drags in spots like any Godzilla movie but still manages to be mostly entertaining.