Guillermo Del Toro is an award-winning director responsible for some great horror movies that manage to frighten as much as they evoke an emotional reaction from his visionary flair and style. Pan’s Labyrinth and his Hellboy films are some examples that spring to mind of films that showcase his visual talents. So, even though I have not seen every film the man has made, I still pay attention when his name is attached to something, especially in the horror category. This is why I was all too eager to jump into the series on Netflix. An eight-episode series of different horror stories that Del Toro produced or possibly curated? Sign me up!

Unfortunately, this show has not only failed to live up to my expectations, it legitimately made me angry enough at how bad some of the stories were that I refuse to see its final episode, even if it’s the best of the bunch. “Disappointment” does not even begin to define my experience with Cabinet of Curiosities. Out of the seven episodes I watched, there was only one that I ended up liking, and even that was nothing spectacular, just competent. Despite each episode being an hour, there were some that felt longer than The Lord of the Rings movies.

I do not know what Del Toro saw in these different short films or if he had much input on their curation, but it definitely makes me question his tastes if he had any involvement. For this review, I’ll include summaries (with spoilers) of each episode I watched, their pros and cons, and my assumption as to why Del Toro allowed it to be selected for his show.

Episode 1 - “Lot 36”

Pros

Creature at the end looks cool

Cons

Slow and dull
Characters are not compelling
Payoff is weak

Summary

A jerk who has many debts to pay buys storage lockers that have been abandoned to hopefully snag something valuable inside. If you’ve ever seen the “reality show” Storage Wars, it’s essentially the same idea. After purchasing one storage container that used to belong to a strange old man, he starts clearing it out. A woman whose container he bought and emptied in the past nags him to reclaim her things, but the jerk does not care. Nor do I.

For the majority of this episode, it just follows the jerk’s process of removing things from the storage container. At some point, a few debt collectors show up to threaten him, but that’s all the excitement you get up until the last five minutes of the episode. Eventually, someone who knew something about the old man who owned the container shows up, and they investigate the mysterious hidden compartment within it. Then a “demon” comes out of the hole in that compartment and kills the jerk.

This episode is boring and nothing happens until the end when the creature emerges. Why it’s here, what it is, and what it means are all questions around the creature that are not answered. Nothing about who the jerk is or his motivations feels connected to this demon summoning that occurs. He’s just an “innocent” bystander in the summoning of the creature in the end, and the episode’s goal is just to make him as unlikable as possible so his death feels justified. So… where’s the plot? WHO KNOWS?!

This episode didn’t really upset me. It just made me bored.

Del Toro, WHY?!

I’m guessing the reason this episode was selected by Del Toro was just the creature effects. The thing is a mass of tentacles that fit in with the Lovecraftian aesthetic the show seems to be going for.

Episode 2 - “Graveyard Rats”

Pros

Practical effect on rat creature

Cons

Lots of CGI rats that don’t look great
Plot is weak

Summary

A grave robber with many debts to pay has to make his living by stealing jewelry and other desirable items buried with the corpses. One issue he keeps running into, however, are the rats that manage to burrow into the coffins and steal the goods before he can dig them up. Why the rats do this, I have no idea. When the body of a wealthy aristocrat that he’s been tracking gets buried in the cemetery, and the rats steal all the expensive items before he gets a chance, he follows them into their labyrinth of tunnels underground. There, he encounters their nest and tries to escape with his life as the rats decide that he would be a better meal than the dead bodies.

The improvement this episode has over Lot 36 is that the protagonist is marginally more interesting and the story feels like it’s at least moving towards something other than a random reveal at the end. However, the plot is far from compelling. The rats themselves seemed unreal; I was not sure if the guy was just imagining them or if they were supposed to be real. Magical rats that consume jewelry instead of corpses were what the creators were going for, I guess. I haven’t seen this episode in a while because it’s taken me months to get through this whole series, so I don’t really remember much else about what happens in Graveyard Rats. Nevertheless, it’s pretty forgettable.

Del Toro, WHY?!

I’m assuming it’s the special effects again. I doubt it was the characters or the overall plot.

Episode 3 - “The Autopsy”

Pros

Some effects look good
A more complicated plot than most other episodes
Decent acting

Cons

Some effects don’t look good

Summary

A mine in a rural town in America was the site of a recent tragedy when one of the miners blew it up with a mysterious object. Locals didn’t understand the motivation behind it, especially when considering the fact that the explosion killed the perpetrator. The sheriff calls on his medical examiner friend to perform an autopsy on the body. The examiner, unfortunately, quickly finds himself in a game of wits with an alien inhabiting the corpse. The alien blew up the mine to hide his spaceship from the public and is seeking a new host. With the examiner being the closest thing, the alien quickly starts taking him over.

This is one of the least egregious episodes in the series. The plot is more serviceable and the medical examiner is a compelling enough character to carry the plot. Had more episodes been thought out like this one, I would feel much better about the show. The ending is not really satisfying, but it manages to at least feel suitable for the story of the episode, which is more than what I can say for the first two.

Del Toro, WHY?!

There is some genuine mystery to this episode for a little while. Similar to The Autopsy of Jane Doe, the episode does a decent job of hooking your interest to make you want to see what happens.

Episode 4 - “The Outside”

Pros

Make-up effects
Decent acting

Cons

Dull and slow pacing
A nothing plot
Unsatisfying ending

Summary

An awkward woman named Stacey in a rural American town wants to fit in at work with a bunch of vapid ladies who squawk all day. One late night, an advertisement on her TV catches her attention. The enthusiastic TV salesman is peddling a new and powerful type of skin cream that is the answer to all her awkward prayers. Speaking to her directly, either through some dark magic or through her own imagination, he manages to convince her to stock up on the cream and start using it. Her skin has a strong negative reaction to it, but her determination to not be awkward through using this cream compels her to keep applying it and ignore the pleas of her supportive husband who likes her the way she is.

This was the first of two episodes that thoroughly irritated me. For one thing, nothing of significance happens until the last five minutes of the episode—a common trend you might have noticed. A majority of what occurs is just Stacey scratching her irritated skin and shooting down her husband’s requests to stop using the cream. Stacey is so unlikable to me because her desperation to be accepted by her peers comes across as pathetically childish, especially when her husband is trying his best to support her. The fact that a skin cream is supposed to be a solution to her woes is somewhat dumb, but I would be willing to accept it if it led to some interesting situations. She has a few dreams that don’t amount to much, but in terms of anything psychological or surreal, nothing happens until the end.

And the end was definitely the nail in the coffin when it came to my opinion of this episode. With her skin thoroughly inflamed, and her mind delirious, Stacey has a mental break. She smashes a hatchet into her husband’s skull as he’s begging her to stop using the cream because he loves her and thinks she’s already beautiful. Then, she wanders into the bathroom where the magical cream has manifested into the shape of a person, she merges with it and goes through her metamorphosis. The next day, she shows up at work and everyone is stunned at how gorgeous she is while she laughs into the camera with a slightly deranged expression.

What am I supposed to feel at the end of this episode? In terms of horror, the only horrific part is the murder of Stacey’s husband, and that’s certainly horrific because he’s the only good character in the episode. All the dreams and visions she has are tame in terms of psychological horror, as there’s no tension throughout the whole episode. It’s just an hour of watching Stacey whine about not being sociable or pretty, while her husband tries to convince her that she’s a good person whom he thinks is beautiful. All I felt when I finished this story was disgust over the nothing plot that wasted an hour of my time.

Del Toro, WHY?!

I have no idea what could have possibly made Del Toro think this was worth having in his show with his name attached. Maybe he just saw the screenshot of the skin-cream person at the end and thought that was cool.

Episode 5 - “Pickman’s Model”

Pros

Crispen Glover
Solid use of H.P. Lovecraft’s horror style
Looming dread and tension

Cons

Could have gone in a more interesting direction with the plot

Summary

Will is an aspiring artist in the early 1900s. He’s engaged to a lovely woman who is from a rather wealthy family and, since it’s the early 1900s, the prospect of her marrying an artist is not a bad one, as far as her family is concerned. While attending various presentations about art styles, he comes in contact with Richard, who is very eccentric and has a particular technique to his art. His paintings have a hypnotizing quality to them with a surreal malevolence underneath the paint. Will is intrigued by him and his techniques at first but soon starts to have horrific visions and nightmares that he believes to be caused by Richard’s influence. He makes the wise decision to cut all ties with him and move away to raise his family, but Richard eventually finds him years later and horror begins to haunt him again.

Had episode 5 been swapped with another of the future episodes (after watching the travesty of “The Outside”), I would have just given up on the show. In fact, I wish that were the case because Pickman’s Model happens to be the only episode in the whole series that I liked. As a result, I was given misguided faith in thinking that there was still a reason to keep watching Cabinet of Curiosities.

The reason this episode is the best that I’ve seen is due to the direction and acting, as well as the proper representation of H.P. Lovecraft’s style of horror. I’m not talking about Lovecraft’s style that is played up all the time with tentacle monsters or things from space—this show was already leaning into that pretty hard with the first and third episode. I’m talking about the style that is underplayed a lot of the time: the horror you think you hear or the horror you think you saw out of the corner of your eye. While the episode does end on a gruesome note, everything up to that point is in the realm of an unreliable protagonist who thinks he’s seeing things but is not entirely sure. The stories in which we have a character who is completely rational, but then starts to question his or her own sanity in what they’re seeing and hearing, are my favorite when it comes to Lovecraft—John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness is a prime example of a film that does this and Pickman’s Model is very much akin to the experience. This episode does it all very well and manages to keep the dread and tension present or under the surface the whole time. Not to mention, Crispen Glover as Richard is his usual awkward self, which is perfect for this type of story.

Del Toro, WHY?!

He obviously felt the exact same as I did about this episode and probably thought about calling me for my opinion, but decided to go with his gut instinct and put it into his show.

Episode 6 - “Dreams in the Witch House”

Pros

Rupert Grint’s performance
Some creepy moments involving the ‘witch’
Compelling plot

Cons

Weird rat thing?
Not really sure what happened by the end

Summary

A young man whose sister died when they were both very young is unable to accept her death and has been trying to find a way to communicate with her spirit, or even bring it back to the world of the living. His obsession has driven him to the edges of madness, but he’s finally found a method that seems to be more promising in a new drug. It puts you in a heightened state of awareness and may very well bring you in between the realms of the living and the dead. Unfortunately, during his jaunts through the spirit world, he encounters some not-so-friendly residents.

I will be upfront: I don’t have much of an opinion on this episode mainly because I don’t remember everything that happens. I fell asleep halfway through it and woke up again at the end. You could draw a conclusion that it wasn’t interesting enough to keep me awake, but it was very late when I watched it, so I’m trying to be fair.

From what I do recall, I think Rupert Grint does a decent job of carrying the episode with his acting. There are some creepy moments involving the “witch” and their first reveal is the primary thing I recall from the episode. The other thing I remember was a talking rat thing that looked terrible. So I don’t really know if this is good or not.

Del Toro, WHY?!

He probably likes the Harry Potter movies and wanted to get Rupert Grint on a project involving some magical fairies and witches.

Episode 7 - “The Viewing”

Pros

Make-up and practical effects
Music and cinematography

Cons

No plot
Digital effects look terrible
Waste of time

Summary

A group of four strangers are picked up in a parking lot in the middle of a random night in 1979 and brought in a van to a reclusive billionaire’s home. They are all “experts” in certain fields, some of which are more scientific than others. The wealthy recluse has a strange and imposing home. They all sit in a circular room and discuss various subjects with him about the nature of humanity, and their own personal issues, while they make their way through the wealthy man’s stash of various drugs. Then, after 45 minutes of pointless dialogue, he finally shows them the reason he summoned them all in the first place. A rock from space.

This episode sucks, plain and simple. The Viewing is an absolute failure of an episode. There’s no defending this one, as I was wide awake when I watched it and thoroughly irritated when I was done. The last ten minutes have nothing to do with the rest of the episode. It’s as though the filmmakers realized they had made something that was nearly an hour long and suddenly realized they didn’t have anything to do with horror in this horror-show episode. So, they just forced it into the sequence of events.

It’s not like what they had leading up to this moment was any good, either. All that happens is the different specialists sharing their opinions on things while getting more and more intoxicated with whatever drugs their host is providing them. There’s a moment where one person at the table shares their experience being the doctor for the now-deceased dictator Muammar Gaddafi. I’m sure those lines were supposed to be emotionally impactful, but again, nothing to do with an alien rock. Also, why is the alien rock only revealed in the last 10 minutes? Have the filmmakers never heard of Alfred Hitchcock’s “bomb scenario” as a method of driving the plot and building tension? That stupid rock should have been one of the first things we saw in the episode to at least make it seem like the episode was eventually going to lead somewhere.

And what happens when the group of them all see the rock from space? Well, one person lights up a joint, the rock sucks in the smoke, and the rock suddenly starts to crack. A high-pitched noise comes out of it, people start bleeding from the noise and holding their heads. When the rock finally cracks open, a gooey blob with tentacles appears. One person’s face melts, another person’s head explodes, and then a third person melts. Then, the blob then oozes over the wealthy host of the evening and turns him into an upright, alien slime monster with tentacles. It then leaves the compound and makes his way into the L.A. River. The two remaining survivors escape in a fast car and, after a minute of flying down the road at high speeds, ask each other if “that just happened.” Was this story written by AI?

I wish this episode and The Outside were the first two episodes of the show. Then I would not have even bothered watching the rest of Cabinet of Curiosities. Instead, as the penultimate episode of the season, I am left so irritated at how weak this series has been and how the one good episode tricked me into watching more of it, when I was nearly out, that I didn’t even bother to watch the final episode. I don’t care how good it might have been. I’m not wasting one more hour with it.