The Best and Worst of 2016 - Dagon Dog Treats 2016
Originally published December, 20162016 will be quite a year to remember with the numerous deaths of beloved public icons, along with the controversial elections in both the United Kingdom and the United States. A lot has happened and not everyone is happy about it. However, in terms of delivering entertainment in the forms of movies, video games, and music, it's been another solid year. At least, that's what I've read among critics.
Since I'm so stingy, I won't get to experience most of those great products till next year, at which time you can read my reviews for it. If you're like me and you tend to wait, or if you enjoy recaps, or if you just want to see the opinion of a late bird, I've put together something for you! To cap off the year, I leave you with my list of the best and worst of 2016 for DagonDogs.com!
For these lists, many of these products did not come out this year. Why? Since I am just a consumer who has opinions and not a professional reviewer who gets access to these items ahead of time or at a discount, I only had the money or the time to experience them his year.
Best Film I Watched in 2016
Winner
Spotlight (2015)
Genre: Drama
Well-shot, well-edited, well-paced, and well-acted, Spotlight is worthy of the best-picture Oscar it got for 2015. It's a film that tackles a rough subject in an intelligent, entertaining, and powerful way. It's not an easy watch in terms of the subject matter, but it's easily recommendable as a good movie.
Honorable Mentions
John Wick (2014)
Genre: Action (Reviewed)
John Wick surprised me in a lot of ways. It's the classic revenge tale of a former assassin who seeks vengeance against those who killed his dog, and it only gets better as the movie goes on. The action is well-shot and captivating. The criminal world created for the movie is profoundly interesting and deep for such a simple movie. John Wick is a great action movie that gets even better after playing the Hitman games.
The Witch (2015)
Genre: Horror (Reviewed)
The Witch is one of the more unique horror movies I've seen in a long time. The premise and the setting demand a lot from its actors and script to be convincing, and it delivers! The drama is tense and unsettling with the film constantly building towards the finale, which still manages to be just as intense and subtle as the rest of the movie.
Frankenhooker (1990)
Genre: Horror
Here is a movie I had never heard of before this year. How did I discover it? Cinemassacre's Monster Madness brought it to my attention, of course, and I decided to give it a watch this October. Man was I glad I did. As the title suggests, there's not a whole lot of high-brow class to this film. It's low-brow, low-budget, and low-cut, like its clothing. However, it still had some solid acting from its amateur actors, some laughably crazy practical effects, and a cheesy charm that made it a lot of fun.
Worst Film I Watched in 2016
Loser
The Replacements (2002)
Genre: Comedy (Reviewed)
As I said in my review of The Replacements, I didn't think it was that bad back when it came out. I knew it wasn't very good and it wasn't trying that hard, but I never suspected I would come to despise it so much upon viewing it over a decade later. This is a rote, lazy, by-the-numbers film that is devoid of creativity. Any charm it once had leaves as soon as the actors start filling in their racially stereotypical roles. This was a film to make a quick buck for everyone involved. Don't donate any more of your time and money to this piece of crap.
Dishonorable Mentions
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)
Genre: Action (Reviewed)
Since I went through and watched all the Star Wars movies again this year, this was the one I was dreading all the way up to watching it. I thought it when the movie came out and I still think it now: This movie sucks so much, it's the worst Star Wars film by far. It's popular to hate on Episode I, but at least that one kept me interested in what was actually happening, in comparison to this. Nothing interesting happens in this film for hours and it only works to reinforce your negative opinions of Anakin Skywalker. The love story in Frankenhooker is more believable and inspiring than this.
Superman III (1983)
Genre: Comedy? (Reviewed)
If you want a litmus test as to whether or not my reviews are helpful to you, look no further than how I feel about this film franchise. While some say that Superman IV is the worst, I argue it's the best because it's the most entertaining of all of them. It's a terrible movie certainly, but I consider it's crappiness to be far more entertaining than the boring, inconsistent, and bland material of the "good" Superman movies and at least funnier than the pitiful attempts at humor in Superman III. Superman III is two-hours of jokes that don't land in a story barely about Superman. The only good thing about this piece of crap was how much it scared me with its traumatic scene with the computer transforming the lady in the cyborg.
Scanners
Genre: Horror
I like David Cronenburg. I like some of his films. I like the weird ideas he's come up with for his movies and his determination to make these ideas real, even if the budget and talent aren't there. Scanners was one of those attempts, but failed to really hook me in any way. It just ends up being a lot of wasted potential for some good ideas. If it could have been fixed, I can point to two BIG problems that needed the most work:
The script. It was a hacked, rushed mess. The plot was and dialogue was vague. The pacing was slow. And it had some really stupid twists.
The main protagonist is played by a person who was so stiff in his performance, I started to wonder if it was possible for humans to crossbreed with trees. I'm fairly certain his father was a redwood.
Best Video Game I Played in 2016
Winner
HITMAN (2016)
Genre: Stealth/Action (Reviewed)
I have already said so much about this game and yet I still have more I'd love to say, but instead I'll sum it up with that same statement I used before: This is the best Hitman game. If you've always had an interest in the series, but never tried it, I recommend you try this one.
Honorable Mentions
Dark Souls III (2016)
Genre: Action/RPG (Reviewed)
It's no surprise that a Dark Souls game would make it onto my list. It is surprising, however, that it's not at the top. While HITMAN beat it out as the game that I'm madly infatuated with, Dark Souls III is still a great game that consumed plenty of my time. If you've been watching me on YouTube, you've likely heard about how I consider this to be a satisfying and refreshing boost in quality to a somewhat tired franchise. It's not as good as the best in the series, but it still makes some smart choices that keep the game feeling fresh and interesting from start to finish.
Darkest Dungeon (2016)
Genre: Turn-Based Strategy (Reviewed)
I played Darkest Dungeon last year while it was in early access and had a good time with it. Now that it's finally been released, I gave it another try, and it's better than I remember. They've added some smart, simple changes to the mechanics of the game to balance things out since I last played it. Though, it's still quite difficult and quite a grind. They've also added some exciting new characters, enemies, and dungeons that look amazing in this game's unique art-style. If you haven't gotten burned out on this game already, give it a try.
Mark of the Ninja (2008)
Genre: Stealth/Action (Reviewed)
Oldest on this list of great games I played this year, Mark of the Ninja has been on my to-do list for a while. I'm glad I finally gave it the time it deserved, especially before tackling the Hitman franchise. Since it's the firs real stealth game I've played since the Tenchu/Metal Gear Solid 2 era, doing so has given me more of a perspective on how modern stealth games could be great. Mark of the Ninja has smooth controls and a slick style to it that just made it satisfying to sneak and assassinate from level to level. It also knew how to reward players who played as either a pacifist or a bloodthirsty assassin.
More Mentions
Invisible Inc (2015)
Genre: Turn-Based Strategy/Stealth
I really went through a stealth-game binge this year. Invisible Inc is yet another stealth game on this list, however, it sets itself apart from the rest by being a turn-based strategy game as well. It's like XCOM without the combat. Invisible Inc is surprising in many ways and most of them are good. There's a lot to try, unlock, and master in this game. Afterall, mastery is something that stealth-game enthusiasts are all about.
Mordheim: City of the Damned (2015)
Genre: Turn-Based Strategy (Reviewed)
I hate this game, yet it's still on my list of best games. Mordheim: City of the Damned is a great game that has a huge surplus of content in it, bursting at the seams. I just hate it because it's so damn hard and ruthless in the worst ways. I couldn't remember the last time I was so mad at a game. Well, until it was trumped by my experience with a certain Dark Souls III boss. Regardless, this is a tough but great game, only worth your time if you're a masochist.
Magicka (2011)
Genre: Action/Multiplayer (Reviewed)
Goofy. Weird. Inventive. Fun. Magicka is many different things all in one. Create your own spells, master their uses and combinations, and become the ultimate sorcerer! Meant to be played with friends, it can quickly become chaotic and frustrating. Play it with friends to ruin friendships in fun ways, or play it by yourself for a surprising challenge.
Dying Light (2015)
Genre: Action/Horror (Reviewed)
I don't care for zombies much. It's a subgenre of horror to which I have little interest. That being said, I've played my share of zombie games and Dying Light is the first one in years that I've really enjoyed. There are some significant issues I had with this game, like the loot system and the story, but it's also the game that got first-person platforming right in a way that made me keep coming back for more. Running on rooftops with a first-person perspective was never this fun.
Worst Video Game I Played in 2016
Loser
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 (2014)
Genre: Action?
When I saw that this came out only two years ago, I was surprised. This doesn't seem right. Maybe it isn't.
Regardless of when it came out, Lords of Shadow 2 is, to quote a cheesepuff with a toupé, "A disaster." I have no idea what this game is trying to accomplish with its systems and mechanics, not to mention that the story is going in a dozen different directions. The whole time I attempted to play this, I got the sneaking suspicion that there was a lot of disagreement among those involved in making it about which direction to take Castlevania. It's set in the future, it's set in the past. It has stealth segments, it's an action game like God of War. You have a sword that heals you as you strike enemies, but you can also suck their blood because you're Dracula. You're the main antagonist of the franchise, but you're a protagonist whose antagonist is rarely ever seen. If you want a modern example of a game with an identity crisis, look no further. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 is an example of a bad game that isn't mechanically broken.
Dishonorable Mentions
Banished (2014)
Genre: City-Building/Strategy (Reviewed)
Banished claims to be a city builder in which your villagers are people who have been banished from their homes, forced to start over in their new town. The whole banished part of that claim is completely irrelevant to the gameplay, as it never comes up. In reality, this is an easy and boring city builder which allows you to build a city using 16th century structures and technology. As exciting as that sounds, you can get different structures to spice up your city, but those are done in the mods. The developers made a blueprint and have asked modders to fill in the rest for them. Banished isn't a bad game, it's an overpriced game. When you're paying the fee to play, you're paying for a third of a product and the opportunity to fill in the rest of it with work that other people have done in the mod community, who don't get a cut of that money.
Party Hard (2015)
Genre: Action/Stealth
Party Hard has an eye-catching aesthetic and a malicious premise. You play as a serial killer who travels to parties across the US, killing all party guests in creative and gruesome ways. It takes a lot of ideas from Hitman and Hotline: Miami, but it fails to match either of those inspirations in a meaningful way. The gameplay is tedious, the presentation doesn't live up to its initial draw, and it just ends up being a big disappointment. Don't waste your time or money.
Old Hitman Games (2000 - 2004)
Genre: Action/Stealth
While HITMAN is my game of the year, I view its predecessors with some small degree of contempt. Hitman: Codename 47, Hitman 2: Silent Assassin, and Hitman: Contracts may have been technical powerhouses with innovative and groundbreaking mechanics in their day. However, as a Hitman newcomer, going back and attempting to play through their archaic design was little more than an exercise in frustration and disappointment. If you've never played a Hitman game in your life, skip ahead and start with Hitman: Blood Money.
Pandora First Contact (2013)
Genre: Strategy
I played Civilization V for the first time this year and had a good time with it. It wasn't great, but I at least got a glimpse into understanding why those games were popular, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in playing another one. Pandora First Contact decided to make a Civilization-in-space game, like fans were demanding. Except, the franchise already did that with Civilization: After Earth, which ended up being a disappointment. Instead of being the games that fans demanded, Pandora: First Contact is basically another space flop. Yes, instead of making the game people wanted Civilization: After Earth to be, they made a worse one of that. They removed some of the more complex and interesting mechanics that gave Civilization its charm and sped up the timeline. The result is simply a cheap Civ-lite version of a game that isn't much fun and is somehow more difficult to dissect.
Best Music I Listened to in 2016
Since music isn't discussed as much on DagonDogs.com, and not followed quite as closely, there's no clear winner. Instead, I'm just going to list out artists and albums I've been listening to this year as recommendations.
Perturbator
Genre: Techno; Sub-genre tags: Trance, Synth, 80's
This artist's name came up on a podcast while the speakers were discussing a video game's soundtrack. Curiosity led me down a rabbit hole of synthesizer techno music reminiscent to that of the 1980's, with clear nods to sci-fi thrillers like Terminator and Blade Runner. Of the various 80's synth music I've found this year, Perturbator is easily the one I like the most. The music is fast, aggressive, and ominous without losing the ethereal sounds of trance music. It's almost like death metal trance techno, which is probably why I like it.
Meshuggah - The Violent Sleep of Reason
Genre: Metal; Sub-genre tags: Djent, Progressive, Death, Industrial
If you read my Meshuggah article in which I reviewed and ranked the albums and EPs throughout the career of this band, you already know how much I enjoy Meshuggah. Considering the fact that the band has had such a strong track record (pun intended) with their releases striking the right chord with me (intended again), it should be no surprise that their newest album, The Violent Sleep of Reason, is another hit. It lacks some of the impact of Koloss and the catchiness of ObZen, but it has the grinding and grating texture of their older work with the same precision Meshuggah is known for.
Ludovico Einaudi
Genre: Classical; Sub-genre tags: Contemporary, Drama, Melancholic
I first learned of Einaudi in 2010. Since then, he has become my favorite classical composer to listen to, even more than the classics like Chopin, Beethoven, and Debussey. Einaudi writes some of the most dramatic, passionate, melancholic, beautiful music I've heard resonate from a piano and strings. He's also constantly writing new music. Each year he comes out with something new to consume and almost all of it is on Amazon Prime music for streaming. Last year, he released Elements, which has been constant for me throughout this year and I highly recommend for anyone who enjoys the occasional bit of classical music.
Ólafur Arnalds
Genre: Classical; Sub-genre tags: Contemporary, Melancholic
Under the Related Artists section of Ludovico Einaudi, Ólafur Arnalds came up. His music does not quite match the drama of Einaudi's work, but it chases the melancholy and the creativity in it. Ólafur Arnalds uses drums and beats in a way that modernizes his classical touch with some synthetic sounds and vocal work to make the music stand out on its own. It's all quite soothing and sad in a beautiful way. I don't love everything he's done but For Now I Am Winter and ...And They Have Escaped the Weight of Darkness have been on my playlists through 2016.
Devin Townsend
Genre: Metal; Sub-genre tags: Experimental, Progressive, Death, Black,
Devin Townsend has to be one of the hardest working men in the music industry right now. Formerly of his experimental metal band, Strapping Young Lad, Townsend has been hard at work releasing new music under his own name and doing so consistently for the past decade. Each year, he releases a new album that doesn't cease to impress. Townsend is clearly doing what he wants because he does not limit himself to a single genre in his music. Since he's gone solo, he's done soft acoustic, ethereal synth experimental, and returned to death metal. Sometimes, he does it all on the same album. When it comes to his albums, you never know what you're going to get, and that's a good thing. His 2016 album, Transcendence is another uplifting dip into metal, mimicking the powerful positivity of Epicloud.
Uncle Acid & the Dead Beats - Blood Lust
Genre: Metal; Sub-Genre tags: Progressive, Doom, Sludge, Groove, Classic
Uncle Acid & The Dead Beats have a groovy and unique sound for their brand of metal. The clear influence of older bands like Black Sabbath and Led Zepplin are worn on their sleeve. The low-fi sound, the grit of their guitars, and the high-pitched vocals can cast you into a time warp. Bloodlust is the album I've been listening to the most this year and has grown on me the more I listened to it. It was difficult to get into at first, but with each listen, I seem to warm up to it more and more.
Baroness - Purple
Genre: Metal; Sub-Genre tags: Progressive, Doom, Sludge, Groove
Baroness was introduced to me a few years ago by our lead guitarist in Hounds Of Innsmouth. The first few albums Baroness released were impressive and captivating displays of progressive doom metal, if that's the genre that makes sense to call it. I'm not sure what genre to call Baroness, all I know is that Baroness is right at home in a Mastodon and Gojira show and have earned a spot on my frequently-played playlists. Purple was released last year, and while it doesn't quite measure up to Red and Blue, it is still a groovy and catchy album worthy of your time.
The Sword - High Country
Genre: Metal; Sub-Genre tags: Progressive, Groove, Rock, Classic
The Sword was one of the first modern metal bands I listened to and got into that had the distinct sound of something akin to 70's rock. I got to see them live a few times and had a blast each time. Then they fell off the map for a while. It seemed like The Sword had taken a permanent hiatus, until last year when they came back with High Country. It's not as gritty or heavy as their older work, but it is still a welcome return to form from a band I hope keeps coming back.
Worst/Mediocre Music I Listened to in 2016
With music, I tend to be a bit more forgiving in terms of what's in front of me—after all, if the world believed my taste in music was the objective law between good and bad, pop-star singers wouldn't exist. Besides, if I really don't like it, I usually turn it off right away. So, instead of talking about music I suffered through for no good reason, I'm listing the music I heard this year that just didn't do anything for me or left me feeling a little disappointed.
Gojira - Magma (2016)
Genre: Metal; Sub-genre tags: Progressive, Death
Gojira has been one of my quick-dial favorite bands these past few years. If I don't feel like listening to something new or different, I'll often cycle back to my favorites like Tool, Meshuggah, Mastodon, and Gojira. I love their last three albums, with From Mars to Sirus still being my top pick. A few years back, they released Les Enfante Savage, which was a fast and powerful entry in their discography. All signs pointed to the band showing no signs of stopping or weakening. Then, they seemed to take a bit more time to work on their next album. I was ready for something new and exciting like the last few releases were for Gojira. Magma, however, feels like a lazy, tired, and confused attempt at something new. I've listened to it and found a few songs that stick out as "decent," but the songs they chose as their singles to highlight the album have been boring and disappointing. I'm not sure where they went wrong, but Magma has definitely tempered my expectations of the band.
Metallica - Hardwired to Self-Destruct (2016)
Genre: Metal; Sub-genre tags: Thrash, Death, 80's
I haven't listened to Metallica much these past few years. I had a run where I listened to them on a regular basis, but lately I have lost touch with the classic thrash metal band that was once the biggest band out there. So, with their new album, I wouldn't say I was really disappointed. I was simply unimpressed. I sat down and listened to the whole thing one day and found that after the first track I became less and less interested with what I was hearing. Some people hated Death Magnetic, while I found it acceptable despite the fact that the sound editing wasn't great. With Hardwired to Self-Destruct, I think the opposite problem is present where the album sounds good and clear, but the songs are less interesting. Metallica has long had an uphill struggle in trying to return to their roots that made them so popular to begin with. Hardwired... is yet another attempt at their return to form, but this has only further cemented that impossibility in my mind. There's some decent thrash here, but it's hampered by the band's desire to do too much in the wrong areas. Not to mention, it has some of the dumbest lyrics I've heard from Metallica in a while.
There you have it! The various forms of entertainment that I covered here at DagonDogs.com for the year of 2016! Stay tuned for more videos, reviews, podcasts, and other crap in the new year!
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