Of the various random facts that I recall about movies I had never seen before (and there are far too many), I remember Dark Shadows was released to tepid or worse reviews. Considering the final sting at the end of the film suggests a sequel-which we have not gotten in the ten years since—I have to assume that it must not have done well at the theaters as a result. That could have been due to people just being tired of remakes of classic “horror” titles. This could have been due to people being tired of the Johnny Depp/ Tim Burton combination we had been seeing for years by 2012. This could have been due to the fact that when it would have been viable to open up some time in Depp’s schedule between his other projects for a sequel a few years later, some career-ruining rumors started swirling around the actor. My bet is on the boring speculation that it simply didn’t make its money back. But does it deserve such a fate?

Pros

Depp’s performance and delivery of funny, well-written lines
Emma Green’s fun antagonistic performance
Some classic fish-out-of-water comedy
Makeup effects

Cons

Final act just sort of wraps up everything quickly and conveniently
Unnecessary exposition in some areas, missing backstory in others
Sub-plots are all over the place and seem to either abruptly end or barely start

Plot & Thoughts

Barnabus Collins (Johnny Depp) was an 18th-century man who had the misfortune of refusing the romantic affections of a witch, Angelique (Eva Green), due to his infatuation with another woman. One curse later, he’s become an immortal creature of the night and is trapped in a coffin, six feet under, for 200 years, until an excavation team digs him up and unleashes him upon the fishing community in Maine during the 1970s. In his attempts to figure out where and when he is, he encounters his descendant Elizabeth Collins (Michelle Pfeiffer), and her somewhat unconventional family, who have fallen on hard times. They’re not the hardest of times, because they still have a massive manor and a name that is notorious among the community as responsible for building the town of Collinsport in the first place. However, they’ve lost a fair amount of influence and money to a competitive family name, which happens to be the same as that of the same witch who cursed Barnabas in the first place. Motivated by hatred for the witch and a desire to revitalize his family name, Barnabas dedicates himself to building up the business again and regaining influence in the community. Thus, high jinks ensue.

Dark Shadows is memorable and entertaining due primarily to the efforts of Johnny Depp. Without Depp, the movie is a relatively standard story with the very blatant aesthetic of Tim Burton. The jokes are okay, but Depp’s performance is what elevates the experience. A fair amount of the humor stems from him stating 18th-century equivalents of slang as it juxtaposes against the lines of other characters during dialogue. For example, the top quote on IMDB is as follows:

Angelique Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box.

Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!

There are plenty of other moments like this that are entertaining because of Depp’s delivery and dedication to the role, which is my main argument as to why this movie is fun. Where Dark Shadows falters, however, is in having a somewhat aimless plot, along with other character arcs that either go in odd directions or conclude abruptly. Since the original Dark Shadows was a comedy TV show, it’s not too surprising that there were some sub-plots that felt a little rushed in comparison with the main story, as it kind of mimics the sit-com format in that regard. I just think the plot ends up going a little all over the place with multiple vignettes and moments that occur, some without much significance.

Then, the climax happens. Up till the climax, I was enjoying watching Barnabas help build up his family’s fortune again and adjusting to the new life in the “modern” world as he pined after a lost lover. I had the expectation that the adversarial parties would finally confront each other on the market with Barnabas getting the upper hand through his superior diplomacy skills and popularity in the community. When the final act kicks off, however, a lot of what was built up throughout the plot is thrown out the window. Instead, a big dramatic battle of superpowers between Barnabas and Angelique takes place in a fiery setting, and certain traits about side characters are suddenly revealed that had seemingly never been brought up before. Then, the movie just ends. I’ve certainly seen worse films that have abrupt endings and middling plots than this, but I was definitely a little thrown off when the whole thing was over and my opinion of the film soured a bit as a result.

TL;DR

Despite having a story and sub-plots that don’t feel fully fleshed out, or even really established in some instances, Dark Shadows still manages to be pretty fun. Johnny Depp carries the film with his performance and delivery, being responsible for a majority of the comedy in the movie. While it’s far from Tim Burton’s best films, it’s much better than his worst.

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