Christmas Chronicles (2018) - Review

It’s been a bit longer than I had originally intended to be away, but it’s time to start posting again. Thanks for waiting!

For a few years, I legitimately hated Christmas. Anyone who felt the same could list off a general number of reasons why and we’d probably find some common ground, for sure. In fact, I’m still able to list plenty of things about the holiday I don’t like. After living with an optimist for about a decade, however, I’m more willing to carry on a tradition of watching Christmas movies that don’t have the words “Die” and “Hard” in their title. Thus, being locked up for the holidays gave us more time to look through what was on the streaming services for some holiday movies we hadn’t seen. The Christmas Chronicles was the main movie that kept appearing in our queue, so we gave it a watch.

Pros

Kurt Russell is always good and seems to be having a good time in the role
Again, Kurt Russell
Cool car chase sequence

Cons

The actual main characters of the movie are obnoxious, annoying, and self-absorbed kids who apparently have no semblance of urgency
Pacing is a drag
CGI animals and elves look pretty poor

Plot & Thoughts

After the death of their loving, fire-fighting father, angsty teenager Teddy (Judah Lewis) and his sister, true-Santa-Claus-believer Kate (Darby Camp), are having trouble getting along during the holidays. Teddy is so crestfallen over his father’s death that stealing cars seems like the only right choice to make with his free time while his mother Claire (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) is working late at the hospital. Kate, meanwhile, is obsessed with her dad’s old video camera. While using it to send Santa a letter, she follows her brother and collects evidence of his criminal activity. On Christmas Eve, Claire has to work late yet again and humbly requests that Teddy watch his sister while she’s gone. Kate convinces Teddy that it’s worth staying up for Santa and obtaining proof of his existence by using her evidence of his GTA as leverage.

Wouldn’t you know it? The kids discover that Santa IS real and rather than being satisfied with that discovery, Kate decides that she needs to see more of his sleigh from inside it. Before you know, it, the two of them are in the sleigh and flying through the sky, unbeknownst to Santa Claus (Kurt Russell). They travel through magical portals that Santa creates to get from Boston to Chicago in a split second and see spectacular sights that would blow any kid’s mind. Things quickly go awry, however, when the kids startle Santa and he crashes his sleigh. With the reindeer scattered, his magical cap lost in Chicago somewhere, the bag of presents missing, and his sleigh busted, the three of them set off to recover Santa’s belongings before the night ends. If they don’t, Christmas will be ruined and the rest of the world will socially collapse because our fragile existence is dependent on Santa getting presents to the kids.

The premise where Santa crashes his sleigh, or loses something magical on his all-important night out is not a new one. You could probably pick half a dozen holiday movies out of a bargain bin in which something similar happens. So, what does The Christmas Chronicles offer to separate it from other holiday movies with similar stories? For one thing, it has a bigger budget than most bargain Santa romps. It also ups the ante a bit on the consequences of Santa not finishing his annual task by insinuating that another World War is going to break out because people will all be grumpy…or something. Most importantly, however, it has Kurt Russell.

Kurt Russell is THE reason to see this movie. It’s clear that he is having the time of his life here and really seems to enjoy playing a snarky Santa Claus. I don’t want to oversell it too much, though, because I don’t think this movie is very good otherwise. It has a well-shot and entertaining car chase in the middle of it. It has a bluesy musical number with Santa singing and playing piano. But both of those things are only as good as they are because of Kurt Russell. Without him, the rest of the movie is a bit of drag and every scene that doesn’t have him in it feels like it’s moving at a snail’s pace.

The main children are the typical annoying characters with a script that doesn’t make them more likable or sympathetic. I’m not sure who I found more annoying, in all honesty. Teddy was annoying for being the archetypal angsty teen who acts out as though he’s the only one with problems—it’s not like his sister lost her dad too, right? Kate is annoying because she’s constantly getting herself into trouble, then screeching for help as though her actions have no consequence and she can just be rescued by anyone else. Teddy seems to learn something about how to be a better person by the end, but I don’t sense quite the same character growth in Kate. It may be a movie for kids, but that’s not an excuse to have a protagonist continue to make poor decisions for all the children viewers to see and possibly imitate. With Teddy and Kate together, they tend to get distracted by anything when they should be hustling to fix the situation. After all, Santa basically told them another World War was going to break out right after the plague returns—maybe they didn’t actually accomplish their mission and that’s how the world ended up with Covid.

Before I summarize everything, let me be clear about my biases so you can decide for yourself if you want to watch The Christmas Chronicles. 1. I don’t typically enjoy cheesy holiday movies without some sort of nostalgia or odd exception to change my opinion. 2. I tend to find children in these holiday movies especially annoying because of their ungrateful attitudes and needy nature that often goes unchecked (i.e. Santa Clause & Jingle All the Way). 3. Kurt Russell has been in some of my favorite movies of all time and is a national treasure. If you find yourself opposing me on these points, consider my review of The Christmas Chronicles a complete wash—but please continue to come read reviews here and tell your friends to do the same.

TL;DR (Conclusion)

As much as I like Kurt Russell and I enjoy seeing him have a blast playing Santa Claus, I cannot recommend The Christmas Chronicles. The movie is pretty rote and dull with some slow pacing to make the experience drag on. The characters are also pretty run-of-the-mill. If not for the somewhat entertaining car chase and Kurt Russell living it up as St. Nick, I couldn’t think of a reason to check this thing out.

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